* Collection of old’photos above.
Does your life inspire you?!?
Gawd, what a question for an uncomf’tble afternoon!
I’m supposed to dwell on a writing that’s due, but the rains, goodness – they came headlong ! O’ yes they came – pouring down in such drama making that clacking sound on the good ol’ tin roof! There was a rough edge of wind with it. For a moment I stood watching the spectacle from my kitchen door wondering if I should bother closing bedroom windows. Which I didn’t. What for? I was sure it wouldn’t last for long and I was right. About 15 minutes or so was what it had to give. My plants and trees are drenchly accepting, but hell, now it feels even more humid than ever!
How can that be?
I was anticipating’ a spot of fresh feel after all that watery hoopla’ but nOooo! It’s hotter that ever!
So here I am inside my bedroom, locked with the aircon going, my unmade bed from well this morning staring me like a capricious ghost of conscience, haha! — My house help comes every other day (all I require), which makes every domestic chore my toll for the day. I have something in my old trusty washer outside; maybe I should go see if I can rinse off since the rains have now dwindled to mere tears. I’m NOT in the mood to do so, but seriously, if I go by mood then nothings ever going to get done.
I can’t point what’s up with me today – carrying a certain dowdy malaise and not quite my uppity self. I feel sooooo…ummmm...heavy, yes, like I’m a jelly sack of blob that can’t be bothered with anything. My ankles feel like dead weight and it’s such a groany’ effort walking myself around. Can’t smile much and don’t like anything much, not even myself, which is totally weird because – I happen to like me, hahaha! Yup. Hey, maybe Mercury is in retrograde – haven’t checked *Astrolada lately, I probably should.
(* Astrolada happens to be a fun lady with an expertise in astrology – something I don’t take seriously except for a bit of lovely insight, a laugh, or some serependitious observation.)
Yesterday I had a moment of going back through old photos online.
Gave me smiles to see moments almost buried in memory. At the end of the last pic, I was swimming in juicy lightness – a certain joie’ de vivre form seeing all the colors I’ve created. Wow, those were my memories and I must admit,I was inspired. Grateful and inspired. I know the in between struggles – but the main motion of joy was there – always there. God is good.
And so in spite of this melancholy streak I’m struck with today, seeing the colors of my life, the nature of it, gives me inspiration and resolve to create more pretty. A color imperfection of perfections, OR perfection of imperfections, of a life of my creation.
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